hypnagothic | [The City] IC Contact

[ If she could get any paler... ]

I should not be here.

[ First Heine had selflessly looked after her in her shock, despite Badou's injuries, with the wolf's victim recovering under the same roof as her, and now somehow Morpheus is managing the same. He's known Hob so much longer, too, what sort of worry must he have felt? Everything has become a disaster.

The same sound (there's no sound) has her looking back to the wall and shaking her head with little jerks while standing up, uncaring of a partially undone dress. Her nails lightly scrape at the back of her hand as her mind turns in circles. ]

Please tell Mr. Gadling that I am so very sorry. I will do whatever I can to aid in his recovery.

[ he watches her rise with a growing frown, standing form the edge of the filling tub when it seems for sure she is leaving. ]

My lady? You will not stay?

[ Of course, she has to sit back down unless she wants to talk out barefooted. ]

But how can I? I could not imagine him even bearing to look at me, nor wishing me to remain under his roof. Does he not blame me?

[ Even Badou's acceptance feels beyond her deserving, and he has been a close friend. The growing shame is enough to drown her before she can even touch the water, and her shoulders droop. ]

I know that I must go to him and apologize, but at the moment I do not think myself strong enough to bear anyone's hatred.

[ Morpheus reaches for her hand so that he can tug her back to sitting, sitting next to her once again while still holding her hand delicately. ]

Why would you think Hob would bear you blame or hatred?

[ Her red-eyed gaze is unsteady when she looks back to him. ]

My connection to Ethan is no secret.

Perhaps it is not a truth withheld, but I would doubt if Hob knows more than your acquaintance with him. Even if he did know more of your relation with him, why would he think you responsible for another's actions outside their own control?

[ She shakes her head at that. If he didn't know more before, he will soon. ]

I ought to have known. I have always known something. The others, they saw.

[ Looking down, Vanessa does everything she can not to picture any of it, but it's still vivid even after everything else she's been forced to witness the past two days. The dog and the wolf. Both of them had been feral, out of their minds, with something else left behind that was only for killing.

And still—there it is! She glances nervously at the wall while going to scratch at her hand, only to halt with a twitch when remembering his own is in the way. ]

The only reason he wasn't killed was because of me.

Ethan Chandler withheld this knowledge from you. You are not to blame for other's secrets, lady Vanessa.

[ he tightens his grip on her hand. ]

Then he has reason to thank you for your intervention, not to blame.

Not Mr. Gadling. [ Whispered. ] Ethan.

[ With a shaken sigh, she holds the heel of her palm against her temple, eyes closed while trying to out the sounds of someone scratching from inside the wall. ]

Constantine saw me protect Ethan. Badou may have, I am not certain how aware he was, but he knows. There was no controlling those who had become beasts, you see, they had forgotten themselves. I am not certain how, but Heine heard my voice and returned. They both did. ...But Ethan was the one I was defending.

[ Protecting Badou's attacker while his blood was still fresh on the ground. And still, Heine cared enough to protect her. She doesn't know how. ]

You once told me to question him, and I should have pressed. I tried, before coming here, and was afraid he would reject me just as he did then. But I can...sense these things. I should have. What good am I?

You are human. As is he, for all intents and purposes, with all your flaws and wondrous natures.

[ his other hand reaches for hers against her temple, gently tugging it down to join her other hand in his lap. ]

[ 'All intents and purposes'... It makes it sound like something other than what it is. As loud as she is about being human when confronted, she knows she is more than human, as is Ethan. He was the one to remind her before.

The pull to her other hand draws and keeps her attention back on him with a little twitch of her fingers. The bandages chafe the raw skin underneath, still hidden beneath her sleeves while her dress remains mostly draped over her shoulders. ]

Most people are not so quick to understand as you. You didn't see their faces.

[ Heine's, at the time, had broken her heart. ]

You— [ There's a tug of her hands as she sits up straighter. ] I need to message Heine. He will worry if I take too long. May I use your telephone?

You may. But I encourage you to perform your ablutions as well, if only for your own comfort.

[ with a light squeeze to both of her hands, one of his withdraws to reach for his given mobile. ]

I only mean to tell him that I have arrived, so that he does not fret.

[ Only slightly, her shoulders settle again as the 'sounds' abate. ]

If you truly feel that Mr. Gadling would not think poorly of my being here.

He would wish you to stay to recover.

[ sounding utterly confident in that, handing her his phone. ]

If you are certain. ...Thank you.

[ While still nervous, she doesn't really want to leave Morpheus, so she'll have to trust that he knows his friend well enough to speak for him on this.

Once accepting the phone, she'll gently tug her other hand free so she send her message quickly without sacrificing intent.

Heine, this is Vanessa writing to you now.

I am safe with Lord Morpheus for the time being, so you need not worry. I will write you once more when I am able to find my telephone. Please keep my gratitude close to heart until we speak again.

It takes barely any time at all before she will offer it back with another polite thank you. At least she has acknowledged that she will be staying here for the moment. ]

[ he takes it back and tucks it away without even looking at it, his attention fixed on her. ]

That completed, I believe any other obligations can hold for a small while.

[ Mutely, she'll nod and stand back up. Enough of the dress is unbuttoned so that she can tug it off and toss it away, followed by the corset cover. If they tear, there is no matter, she is unable to keep any reminders of the last few days. Her earrings are just as quick to be tossed onto the growing pile of what once was clothing.

She needs no help with the corset or anything else, despite the state of her that has become more visible once the dress and petticoat are gone. The pallid color of her skin may be more obvious now, for having had no food, water, or sleep for two days. Her calves are covered in bruises and her wrists are wrapped in gauze—the cleanest thing she wears.

While she realizes she ought to remove the bandaging for her bath, she is reluctant to. After all, she had only just wrapped them up and nobody wants to see such things. ]

[ he's silent while she undresses, remaining seated rather than standing to help her, sensing her need to do this herself. when she pauses at removing the gauze, that's when he finally moves, extending his hand to her, inviting her to step into the water. ]

[ With her not being at her most graceful right now, Vanessa won't turn away the assistance, though there is a moments hesitation.

She hasn't been held in a bathtub since her time at the Banning Clinic. Including her trauma and mild injury, this is still infinitely more pleasant. Not being shoved under may have something to do with it, as well as the mild temperature. The water there had often been like ice, except for the times it felt near boiling. Just enough to make her scream and never anything in-between.

Her gaze avoids the showerhead while stepping into the tub, gripping his hand and the side until she's settled. ]

Thank you.

[ Her vocabulary seems to be limited at the moment. She can do better. ]

You don't need to do all if this, you know. I can manage alone. I have through far worse than this.

[ A light roll of her shoulder follows the memory of how she recovered from her branding. ]

Edited (missing very relevant words) 2023-12-07 07:37 (UTC)

I do not, no. And perhaps you have.

[ he shifts a bit on the tub's edge to face her, still dressed but unafraid of the water getting into his clothes (should it dare to). ]

But you are not alone in this moment.

[ No. In fact, she's unused to so many seeming to care, those who she still needs to go and help however she can. But it is nice to relax in warm water for a minute, even if she feels awkward like this. Not for the lack of clothing, of course, but for her sorry state. It's beginning to feel that he's seen her at her worst more than he's seen her at her best.

Hugging her knees, she blinks up at him. Still slightly blurry at moments. ]

You are always helping me. And when will I be able to help you, I wonder?

[ He had been the one to suggest it for her inspiration on their first night together, and she had treasured it, but she has done little for him since. Now she is depending on him just as she did before. The feeling of helplessness has grown over some months, and now it has overwhelmed. ]

Likely when I least expect it.

[ he turns away briefly, but only to reach for a soap bar and washcloth, dipping both into the water before beginning to rub them together. ]

[ The sight nearly brings a smile, never having thought she'd see him act as a nurse. One of the nicer ones. ]

Do you remember the story that you told me during our night together in the mall?

Of course.

I would like to know how it ends.

[ She had fallen asleep so early on, and until now she hadn't wanted to hear the rest of it. ]

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